Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used to gain power. And it works very well.
Gaslight is a tactic in which a person or entity, to obtain more power, causes a victim to question their reality. It works much better than you think. Anyone is susceptible to gas light, and it is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists and cult leaders. It is done slowly, so the victim does not realize how much he has washed his brain. For example, in the film Gaslight (1944), a man manipulates his wife to the point where he believes he is losing his mind.
In the book Gaslighting: Recognize the manipulative and emotionally abusive people, and Break Free. I detail how gas lights usually use the following techniques:
They tell cheeky lies.
You know it’s a blatant lie. However, they are telling you this lie with a serious face. Why are they so brazen? Because they are setting a precedent. Once they tell you a big lie, you’re not sure if anything they say is true. Staying unstable and out of place is the goal.
They deny having said anything, even if you have proof.
You know they said they would do something; You know you heard it But they outside and outside deny it. It makes you start to question your reality, maybe they never said that. And the more you do this, the more you will question your reality and start accepting theirs.
They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition.
They know how important your children are to you and know how important your identity is to you. So those can be one of the first things that they attack. If you have children, they tell you that you should not have had those children. They will tell you that you would be a worthy person if you did not have a long list of negative traits. They attack the foundations of your being.
They wear you out over time.
This is one of the insidious things of gas lighting: it is done gradually, over time. A lie here, a lie there, a sarcastic comment from time to time … and then it begins to increase. Even the most intelligent and self-aware people can be absorbed by the gas light, it is that effective. It is the analogy of “frog in the pan”: the heat increases slowly, so the frog never realizes what is happening to it.
Your actions do not match your words.
When it comes to a person or entity that is enlightened, look at what you are doing instead of what you are saying. What they are saying does not mean anything; it’s just talking. What they’re doing is the problem.
They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you.
This person or entity that is reducing you, telling you that you have no value, is now praising you for something you did. This adds an additional sense of uneasiness. You think: “Well, maybe they are not so bad”. Yes they are. This is a calculated attempt to keep it out of the center and, again, to question its reality. Look also for what you were praised; It’s probably something that served the gas lighter.
They know that confusion weakens people.
Gas lighters know that people like to have a sense of stability and normalcy. Your goal is to uproot this and make yourself constantly question everything. And the natural tendency of humans is to look at the person or entity that will help them feel more stable, and that turns out to be the lightest gas.
They are projected.
They are drug users or cheaters, but they constantly accuse you of that. This is done so often that you start to defend yourself and become distracted from the behavior of the gas lighter.
They try to align people against you.
Gas illuminators are adept at manipulating and finding people who know they will support them no matter what, and will use these people against them. They will make comments like: “This person knows that you are not right” or “This person knows that you are also useless”. Keep in mind that this does not mean that these people have really said these things. A gas lighter is a constant liar. When the gas lighter uses this tactic, it makes you feel like you do not know who to trust or who to turn to, and that brings you back to the gas lighter. And that’s exactly what they want: isolation gives them more control.
They tell you or others that you are crazy.
This is one of the most effective tools of the gas lighter, because it is disdainful. The gas lighter knows if they question your sanity, they will not believe you when you tell them that the gas lighter is abusive or out of control. It is a master technique.
They tell you that everyone else is a liars.
By telling him that everyone else (his family, the media) are liars, they again make him question his reality. You’ve never met someone with the audacity to do this, they must be telling the truth